uniform: suntanned tights, orange spandex

shorts, a deep v-neck tee to show off the goods

my mother gave me because

the good ‘ole boys want

those wet, d r i p p i n g

wings tossed in fluorescent red

sauce, dipped in stinky blue

cheese, they want a beer mug

as big as they think their dick is

and of course, I want it—

sorry! I mean, I want their money

even a stunning talented actress like me

can get lost in her lines

from time to time—whoopsie!

drink up boys, cheers!

I’ve entertained men

for way less and it’s okay because

I know I’m a feminist!

I need to pay for rent, college

textbooks, the vodka sodas

I drink on the weekends, okay?

fellas, throw a fun working girl

an extra couple dollars this way!

yes, entertainer is my title

do you wannna know why?

so they can legally say

my waist needs to stay

pin-up thin and

so no penises are allowed

to serve up their fried chicken and

so my curled blonde hair can stay down

as I bounce around, not in

those food safety hairnets,

no one wants to fuck

a lunch lady, yuck!

and no, I’ll never say

it’s all immoral—

I love fried pickles,  buffalo

shrimp, a pretty face just like the rest.

I’ll never blame the girls

for showing some breast.

I just wish I knew a bit more

back then, but it’s okay—

we’re all still living

in a man’s world—

and the girl's     gotta    do

what the girl's   gotta   do

Lauren Rich (she/her) is a poet and a social worker from the Chicagoland area. Lauren writes about girl/womanhood, relationships, female rage and whatever else has her fired up that week. Her last few years have been dedicated to the creation of her debut poetry manuscript which she is currently submitting to publishers. She is a member of and the Event Coordinator for the Gather Poets writing community. She has performed her poetry at sold-out Gather Poets readings in Chicago and Brooklyn and was published in the first Gather Anthology in 2025. Lauren was also longlisted for The ONLY POEMS Bob Hicok Fellowship in 2025. When she is not writing she can be found traveling with her husband, exploring the local forest preserves with her dog, or having a pint at the Irish pub with friends. Connect with Lauren on Instagram @laurenrichwrites.